The Siblings Project – February 2021
The Siblings Project is a challenge to photograph your children together once a month. Each month on the 15th, Lucy at Dear Beautiful opens up a linky to add your own sibling photos to The Siblings Project.
“I really feel that growing up with a sibling completely shapes the way that your childhood turns out. They are the people who we will always have that shared history with, those specific memories that are only ours, and that DNA that makes us so similar even when we’re different. I absolutely adore watching the different sibling relationships between my children. It’s such a special part of our family’s story, and by snapping our children together regularly we get a chance document that unique relationship, and hopefully give them a visual timeline of friendship that will last a lifetime.”
As for me; I cannot wait to see and record my girls grow month on month – and their relationship flourish.
In terms of parenting these two siblings in 2021 so far, it’s fair to say it’s been tougher the last week or so. While we have coped with being in a lockdown for the best part of a year; most of which I have enjoyed and in many ways was able to see as a blessing in disguise, my attitude has shifted slightly recently. I have struggled to understand where this sudden change of attitude had come from, although I am beginning to think it is down to an amalgamation of things and I am more and more aware of little niggles in the back of my mind:
A fear of going back to work after such a long time (into a workplace and a world that has changed so much in light of the pandemic).
A fear of how much I will miss the girls when I do.
The disappointment that I spent most of this precious time from work cooped up at home and that my pregnancy/this newborn phase has been lonely to the point that it feels almost as if it was pretend.
The sadness that because of this Baby F hasn’t enjoyed all of the opportunities that Little M did.
The list could go on and on…
More upsetting than all of my worries is that I am frustrated and disappointed in myself: My mood affects the rest of the household in so many ways – I know that if I am in a bad mood, the rest of the tribe soon follows. Something else to add to the ‘mum guilt’. As much as they are normally cheery and goodnatured, Little M and Baby F have been clingy, grumpy and fractious, trying to express themselves and in need of constant attention and reassurance. I know Little M has a lot of change to cope with in the last 6 months, that she is at an age where her emotions are heightened and on alert already and that Baby F is going through her leaps, but put them together in a total meltdown and it’s easy to say I find the boundaries of our four walls oppressive and uncomfortable. I really hope as we move to the end of lockdown 3.0 and closer to the time that both of my parents have had their second jabs, to a time the Little M can play with children her own age and to a time when I don’t live in fear of losing loved ones, we will all be back to our normal happy, bubbly, playful selves. That our emotions will settle a bit and that I can be a calmer parent when it’s necessary – something I am always working on but that I struggle with in times like these. No matter what, I know in the big scheme of life, I do have two lovely, beautiful children and am so grateful for their love and for them being in my life.
This month I’ve seen a real change in Baby F. She continues to grow and develop and with that she is even more interested in what her big sister gets up to. She smiles and giggles whenever Little M plays with her, she cries when she leaves the room. It’s very sweet, although slightly concerning that she’s learning all of Little M’s ways – the good, the bad and the ugly!
When life gets hard, which it certainly has been lately for me, I have my two amazing little humans to bring me back to reality. They ground me. They keep me going. They keep me strong. They lift me up. They make me smile through my tears. Their love softens my troubles and eases my worried mind. At times it also adds to my worried mind but only out of protection for them and the future they hold. Out of dreading how much I will miss them when my Maternity Leave comes to an end.
TOGETHER THEY ARE LOVING….
Walking the dogs, of course, it’s still Lockdown Groundhog Day here.
Playing ball together.
Reading books that we dug out of the loft and haven’t seen for years.
Getting messy with arts and crafts.
Tipping ALL of the toys out of the toy basket.
Preparing for our house move in the summer.
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See you in March,
Linking up with Lucy at Dear Beautiful for #siblingsproject
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SHARING IS CARING